First School Day

I survived today's first session "in the school"!

Yes, I am back to the books to becoming a Medical Coder!

First of all, I would like to thank you, my dearest Arnt, for driving me to "the school" very early today. It was the first time I was brought "to the school", and I felt like the happiest student in the city of  Bremen!  My heartfelt gratitude for showing me your love, care, attention, and your moral support on this new endeavour of mine.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that it would pave the way for us to be together soon! No more shifting schedules, weekends would be free, and the duty would not start at 06:00 a.m.!

The next twelve (12) weeks would be needing a lot of brain foods and water, and running exercises!

Books and gadgets..

My study desk overlooking Weser River in Bremen, Germany

Two's company!

The Learning Institution

Twelve weeks of learning and three examinations.....wish me luck, guys!

One foot after the other

Just close your eyes and run...and yes, smile!

The moment I thought I was the last one....

At the park. Running.

The first officially-timed 5km Run was accomplished. Six (6) weeks of preparation paid off.

I was able to hit the 35 Minutes Time Goal. I made it at 34.36 Minutes.

Not the last one though. Out of 258 participants, I garnered the 245th place.Thirteen ( 13 ) people were behind me. Most importantly, I was not the last one.

For me, it was quite a success.     

A year ago, I barely could walk because of backpains.

Now, I am running. Even finished a 5km-Run!!

What the hell is going on?

The reason is simple yet extraordinary. 

His name is Arnt.

The latter is running for several years now.  A finisher of several 10km. 20km. Marathon. 100km. 

My heartfelt gratitude, Arnt.  You made it possible for me to discover the fun and the passion for this running activity.

What a long pause...

This time I cannot make excuses for not writing for almost three (3) months!

Time I had enough. Thoughts? A lot.

Weeks passed swiftly. I wanted it that way. It is, as if I could not wait until 2017.

Unexpectedly, some things turned out to my favor, but paying due respect to the deceased, I would not elaborate on this. I am very grateful though.

As if, it is to compensate whatever have had happened in the past.

Now, I do not need to work full time for my living. Good for me and for my health. I can concentrate more on quality living rather than working for my existence.

To live a quality life - this is now my goal but wherefrom to start?

This is a question bothering me for almost three (3) months now, and I am yet to find the answer. Live alone just like before? Without commitments? Do things when and where I would like them to be done? Deciding promptly without the consent of others, and yes, plan my hours and days the way I like them to be?

Go back to Munich for a single life?


Leave Bremen and go for Böhme?

To the latter, there should be no other good reason than mutual love. 

Weeds Out Of My Mind

Hoity - toity....

Last week, I was in the midst of a forest somewhere in Lower Saxony spending my leisure time touching the earth, smelling the fresh scent of weeds and leaves, and was enjoying the company of a lovely and cuddly cat, and his owner - my heartthrob, who let me in his forest.

Yes, his own forest. 


I take it as a privilege and a gift that I can squander my free days pulling weeds and gathering deadwoods off the ground. It was just like getting the "weeds off my mind".


Seeing the outcome of a day's work gives me a feeling of satisfaction, a sense of happiness....  

Photo courtesy of  AF.

Photo courtesy of AF.

This barefoot trail project was the outcome of a wish and the determination to prove that things can be possible. Once started, the path was cleared step by step.

 It needs time and dedication, but at the end, we can say, together, we can pave the way.

It is my foremost and sincere wish, that I can continue walk along these paths, with him by my side.


    
 

"This Afternoon, with him, having coffee...."

So I quote...

Johnny Cash, when asked, about Happiness....

"This afternoon. With her, having coffee.."

Gracias!  A.M.F.

 

"Julia"

Buhay pa tayo....

Remembering "Julia"

How courageous she was. 

It takes a strong belief to leave one's spot for a cause, and she had that.

She was on the search for her right place under the sun.

And, she was successful in her own right.

She is being remembered.

There are times I would like to be "Julia"....


Just let my feet to take the steps and bring me to my own's nest, where I can finally say...

Done.

Here. 

Point.

Life Space for Dead Woods

Here we are...the beauty of the dead...

Shining through....

"Anger Management"

Five Point Zero Three Kilometers

Yesterday, I was out for Nordic Walking for fifty nine minutes and fifteen seconds not because of fitness training but to get rid of my anger and aggression towards someone who has not a sense of guilt, fairness, nor shame at all!


So mean! So bad. 

If I could only turn the tide twenty six years ago......

I was so naive to enter such a deal - a tying of the knot without respect and affection, just to be able to stay in Germany, and get a greener pasture.

I learned my lesson.I paid enough for these mistakes. I thought it has ended but the nightmares are still happening and I am beginning to become angry.

It is not fair. It is just of low moral standards.

"Being angry is the only luxury I cannot afford" - these words I kept telling myself when I was walking into the woods.

 I guess I shouted and cried out of anger. I was almost blank. 

What a luck Germany is Ten Thousand Three Hundred Thirty Kilometers away from the Philippines. Or else..... 

But NO,

It is not worth it. 

Waste of energy. 

But wait...one good thing: I marked my personal's best. So far.

And I hope, next time, I would do Nordic Walking for the sake of pure, and mindful physical training.

  

Simplicity Itself

When times get rough and when everything seems to go against me, I try to straighten my thoughts and try to discover facts and differentiate them from myths so that I could think clearly and positively.

In a complete tangle, I try to develop habits of practical thinking and withdraw any emotional reflections I have made upon a decision.

Sometimes I think I am hardhearted, and that, there is no feeling of mercy and forgiveness left in me.

Not after those mishaps.

This thought scares me. In my attempt to be solid to my decisions and convictions, I get a perception of a cruel heed - unforgiving and abominable.

Yet, at the back of my mind, trying to be sane and benevolent, it is simplicity itself, to say:

Dreadful deeds deserve vengeance.

A tribute to a running man...a.m.f.

Runchies or Rungry


Gait, Ragnar Relay, Fartlek

PR, Farmer Brow or "snot rocket"

Millimeter Drop, GU, Streaking

Bib, LSD, DOMs, The Wall, Bonk, Junk Miles

chicked, Body Glide, Dreadmill, OCR, "runners knee"

Bandits,  Hardware or Bling, Carb Loading, Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Ultra, Foot Strike, Runner's High, Strides, Cadence, Lactid Acid, Ice Baths, Taper, DNF, etc.


Ja, the Running Lingo..

am getting interested in.

Because of amf.

Run, Fighter, Run!

Recuperation

Getting back to normal state of mentis et corporis after a couple of weeks full of dolere.

With yet stronger reasons..


from foot to head,

from what comes before,
from the beginning of time,

from the absurd,

from  what has happened,

from wandering to the point,


from pursuits to habits,

from sweats and struggles,

from flames and dangers,

from greed and misfortunes,

and from there, to the END.


From here on.

Take. Have and keep.

To many happy returns. 

I will either find a way or make one.
 

Resilience needed!

Backpains are here again, and am trying hard to remember those times when I was able to recover from this malady.

Dolor. It is only in my brain. And I have to get rid of it.

Tonight, I spoke with Mjean. Hearing her sorrows and troubles nowadays, my coccyx pain is nothing compared to what she is experiencing right now.

I am asking how a person could be so mean to someone? There is a kind of evil in such a man.

I just wish and hope she would learn to fight back. To never let him ever abuse her. Not even verbally.

She asked me which is better. Fighting against a dead man or a living one?

I assured her it is the same.

We have to try to take care of ourselves, so as not to lose our minds, and to take care of our health, or else, we would both end up losers.

Not to lose control of our impulses and emotions, not to lose confidence - that someday, these heavy rains would stop and we would find ourselves under a huge, pretty umbrella.

We will make it, Mjean!  
 

P.S. We are both lucky, though, to have somebody around, on whom we could lean our heavy shoulders on.

 

Five and Seven

Miscellaneous meanings of five as a number:

A human being - the limbs and the head.

Female number two and the male number three combination.

Thus, symbolizes man, health and love.

"Hieros gamos"

Sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. The beautiful senses.

Leo - the fifth Zodiac sign.

Mercury.

Gemini and Virgo. Their lucky number.

Boron has the atomic number 5.

Limerick.

Starfish with five arms.

Earthworm with five hearts.

Basketball.

Quintet.

A music staff.

Olympic rings.

Chanel No. 5

A wood anniversary.

James Monroe. The fifth President of the USA.

Hamsa hand.

The Luther Rose.

David's five pebbles.

Great Lakes: Lake Eirie, Lake Huron, Lake Michigan, Lake Ontario, Lake Superior.

King for five days: King John I of France

Jack the Ripper  (murdered five women)

Bonfire Night in London

Epiphany Eve in Italy.

The month of May. Plus the number 7.





I am so grateful.... finally.

Topsy-turvy..

Tired, both mind and body... but cannot fall asleep...so what to do?

Right! Write.

But what about?

Dayum!!

Durcheinander...

Sometimes, life just sucks!

I aim not to sound disappointed.

Really, am I not.


Is this the indubitably place under the sun?

Or just another year of drifting around. Of no direction?

This is the one last try.  

A fine day along the Aller, Lower Saxony

Drifters....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Goodnight, everyone!

Eye to Eye Contacts

Katze

Mozzy

Kota glows...

Mieze

Cats are just wonderful creatures!

 

Containers and Crane

 Photo Courtesy of  a.m.f

 Photo Courtesy of a.m.f

 Photo Courtesy of a.m.f.

Photo courtesy of a.m.f

 

What a beautiful Sunday was yesterday!

I just needed to say "yes", as amf  asked me for a coffee to experience walking along the so-called "Überseestadt" in Bremen, Germany. 

It is quite unique as well as amazing.

The walk along those cranes and containers made me feel quite strong, standing before those huge steel constructions. Sunshine and blue skies gave me an impeccable sense of belonging to someone who can appreciate the beauty of those man-made edifices in Überseestadt in Bremen.  

The Amygdala Experience

This is my declared new quest, a very important one, as I was told by somebody who cares about it.

And this, at the age of fifty!

I must honestly admit, I did not expect that somebody would ever ask me anxiously on this matter. 

A healthy craziness begins!     

"Amygdala

The amygdala (Latin, corpus amygdaloideum) is an almond-shape set of neurons located deep in the brain's medial temporal lobe.Shown to play a key role in the processsing of emotions, the amygdala forms part of the limbic system.In humans and other animals, this subcortical brain structure is linked to both fear responses and pleasure.Its size is positively correlated with aggressive behavior across species. In humans, it is the most sexually-dimorphic brain structure, and shrinks by more than 30% in males upon castration.Conditions such as anxiety, autism, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and phobias are suspected of being linked to abnormal functioning of the amygdala, owing to damage, developmental problems, or neurotransmitter imbalance.

Note:   The above text is excerpted from the Wikipedia article "Amygdala", which has been released under the GNU Free Documentation License."

 

 

 

 

 

Of Having An Inspiration..

Here. Again.

The desire to write something.

To let thoughts out of my head.

To find the right words.

From "Outcry From The Woods".

Through  "Harvesting Rice in Germany"

To "The Last Bridge Before New York"

More than ten (10) years of writing.

It should come to endings.

And finally to printing.

To Books!!

Write, Fighter!



 

 

 

It comes like a swift wind...

Losing someone happens in a blink of an eye.

We can never be prepared, and we have to hold onto happy memories we have shared to those who have passed. It is then that memories turn to treasures. This is how what keeps them alive in our hearts and our minds.

Death reminds us that life is so precious, and that we have to be thankful of every minute, and we that we should enjoy every day consciously and to its fullest.

To AF, my heartfelt condolences.

P.S. May we...

May we find the love and life we want to live.

The woods. A cat. A running man....

There are times that I feel like a mirthless cactus  in the midst of a desert.

On such moments, thinking am alone and lost, I try to be resilient. I do try to be rigid and unchanging, irregardless of the disturbances happening around me.

It is a damn, hard thing. Sometimes, I do feel swayed away from my heedfulness.

I went through several paths, and I left some unhappy circumstances behind. I made people sad, and I do feel sorry about those times.

But.... it was for good reason. It was for the sake of happiness. I try to be honest to myself. To never pretend that things are alright when they ain't not. I want to live my life of my choice.  

What keeps me going?

Well, it is the tranquility of  the forest. The gracefulness and sweetness of a Felis catus. The tenderness of a running man.

At the moment, I just swim along with the tides. I have no directions. Just floating around. Enjoying the moments.

The journey itself...is the goal. Nothing on the list.

Goodnight, everyone!